we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
