He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
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