We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
