I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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