I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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