We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
