The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
