wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
