don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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