Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
