next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
