she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
