i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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