I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
