So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
