yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
