Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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