you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
