Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
