when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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