Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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