yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
