i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
