I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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