just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
