Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Randomize
