Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
