im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
