Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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