i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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