What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
