last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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