He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
