Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
