I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just pee around me
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
