At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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