I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
