I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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