don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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