I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We're too hungover to prance.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
