Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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