Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
