my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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