plz talk dirty to me
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
