i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
A bitchslap is in order.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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