# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
