hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
