It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
