drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
