yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
