White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
