We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
