i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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