we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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