Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
