that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
its liver damage thursday
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
