Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.

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(646): View more from New York

lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact

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(757): View more from Virginia

I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.

(847): View more from Illinois

Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st

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(567): View more from Ohio

For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.

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(813): View more from Florida

Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Idk if I want to put a bra on

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