Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
